Sorry, not sorry.
How to break the “I’m sorry” habit
A University of Waterloo, Canada study found that women tend to apologize more often because they have a lower threshold than men for what they consider offensive. This finding suggests that men apologize less frequently than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. Over-apologizing compromises women’s leadership and advancement opportunities.
How to break the “I’m sorry” habit?
1. Become more intentional about your language. Instead of apologizing for being unable to attend a meeting, say, “Unfortunately, (not I’m sorry) I can’t make that meeting.
2. Think carefully about what you apologize for. Is it offensive or hurtful enough to warrant an apology? Is what you want to apologize for a circumstance that is out of your control? Assess whether something is worthy of an apology.
3. Has saying “I’m sorry” become so habitual that you don’t notice it? Start recording how many times you apologize and measure it against the first two items on this list.
4. Never apologize for who you are or for your unique experience and perspective. You may not agree with everyone, and not everyone will like you, but that doesn’t justify an apology.
5. Become comfortable with constructive conflict. Conflict is beneficial when all parties engage with respect and dialogue that aims to solve or collectively serve others or a mission. Don’t mistake disagreement as an offense requiring an apology.
6. Check in on your boundaries. When your boundaries are poor, you may accept blame for things that are not your responsibility.
7. Value yourself. If you lack confidence or low self-esteem or focus heavily on pleasing others, it becomes difficult to stand up for yourself and your ideas. Find ways to build your confidence, then follow it with language that empowers you.
8. Don’t worry so much about what others think or feel. Empathy is valuable when practiced with self-awareness and emotional intelligence, but not when you diminish your light to avoid hurting others or being seen differently.
If you are someone who defaults to an apology, begin these eight practices, and you’ll soon see how confident you become and how others begin to experience you as a powerful, decisive leader.
Join us for a week in the Algarve of Portugal if you’re a female entrepreneur ready to be unapologetic about how you run your business and align your life and business to your values, stepping into your brilliance unapologetically!
Expect a week that brings together three experts specializing in mindset and inner work, brand and identity, and strategy and marketing — for highly personalized coaching, group discussions, and interactive sessions.
Soak up the soul-satisfying Algarve sunshine and engage in work that will change how you approach yourself, your brand, and your business for good.
1 week. 1 goal. 1 you.
The Unapologetic Retreat. October 21–29, 2023. Algarve, Portugal
Visit https://www.unapologeticretreats.com/ for details!
