Unveiling the Power of Quiet Leadership
Embracing Authenticity and Nurturing Change
“Some of us don’t want to be tough alpha leaders. Some of us just want to write and wander the garden and breathe in the sky and nourish and nurture and quietly create new pathways and live our lives as our art. To know the earth as poetry.” — Victoria Erickson, Rhythms and Roads
I have been a leadership coach since 2000 and have worked with thousands of individuals worldwide on their leadership skills. Some of my clients have been exceptional leaders and human beings. Others aspired to be a leader worthy of the role. And there were a few I would call “reluctant leaders” who, because of circumstances or through the idea that they should be leaders, entered into leadership roles with hesitation.
As I progressed in my career, I began to feel the same hesitation as my reluctant leaders. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to lead. I wanted something more intimate, more heart-based, and what I now know as more authentic to who I am. At the time, I didn’t know what that looked like.
In 2014, my life changed drastically with my trip to Ecuador, where I met a shaman with whom I spent the next eight years. Those years are the basis of my memoir, The Shaman’s Wife. During that time, removed from the life I had known, I rediscovered a hidden place within me that I had left in childhood. It is a place of freedom and creativity.
I learned that I could still lead from that place quietly and powerfully. My strength comes from that deeper, heart-based approach to my work, which incorporates what others and I had devalued. My power lies in my intuition, wholeheartedness (as David Whyte describes), and unusual way of seeing the world. The shy child who preferred to observe rather than participate developed me as a writer and storyteller. The introverted teenager nurtured a desire for solitude and reflection and a love of poetry. The adult woman and entrepreneur gave me the skills to create non-traditional work that is meaningful and of service to others while providing a decent living. And now, in my recent years here in Portugal, I took everything I had learned, from corporate practices to shamanic lessons, and designed transformational work around a slow living lifestyle that allows me the freedom to do what makes my heart sing: write.
I struggled with the conflict that comes from being an introvert in an extroverted world. I didn’t want to be exposed to a public demanding far too much from its leaders without considering the gifts these quieter leaders offer. Not everyone is charismatic, and not everyone is an “alpha leader.”
Some of us prefer to lead from behind, not out front. I have determined that my leadership gives my clients a solid foundation and focused presence to do their developmental work. I check my ego at the door, step into the role of compassionate witness, and hold space for emergence so my client can engage in the internal conversations lurking behind busyness and distraction. If you believe I do not challenge my clients, allow me to dispel that belief. I’m not an in-your-face sports coach type. I’m the ask-the-radical-question-that-you-haven’t-dared-ask kind of guide. And then I listen so they can hear themselves speak their truth.
The first time I discovered the Victoria Erickson quote above was in something Susan Cain wrote, and later, she alluded to it in her audiobook, The Quiet Life in 7 Steps. It resonated deeply within me. Strangely, it provided the permission for me to write this post and to freely and publicly admit that I am that person who prefers to “know the earth as poetry,” and it’s just perfect.
If you’re a quiet leader, know that loud is not better. Work with your strengths and your emotions, not against them. You are not required to conform to an outdated definition of leadership based on dominating and being the loudest in the room. Quiet leadership takes up a different quality of space and is just as powerful, maybe even more so.
Today’s leaders require empathy, proximity to the emotional body of self and others, and the ability to listen without judgment to understand all perspectives and embrace revolutionary ideas that can change the world.
And one more important thing.
You don’t have to lead. You can contribute to whatever you find meaningful through your participation and creativity, whether art or poetry, or by sharing ideas and asking better questions. Not everyone wants to lead. Some of us “want to write and wander the garden and breathe in the sky and nourish and nurture and quietly create new pathways and live our lives as our art. To know the earth as poetry.” And that is perfect as well.
Are you a Quiet Leader or asking yourself if you even want to lead?
If this post resonated with you, if you’re asking yourself if you want to be a leader or if you identify yourself as a Quiet Leader, then join me in Portugal for the Embracing Quiet Leadership Retreat, November 9–14, 2024, in the Algarve. To apply, please schedule a conversation here.
https://schedule-alicia-appointment.as.me/Vacation-Transformation1
Photo by Meiying Ng on Unsplash
